Archie

 

Archie's parents didn't believe in pushing their children and Archie, who was naturally lazy, soon learned he could take advantage of their good nature by avoiding any effort.  He had no chores to do at home and side-stepped any pressures at school so when his time in education came to an end and he needed to get a job, he really didn't have any of the skills he would need to make his way in the world.

 

It was 1939 and more and more men were enlisting in the Army.  The demand for workers was so strong that even Archie, well-known in the town for his laziness, was offered a job by the local baker.  Perhaps the fact that the baker was a drunk and had the reputation of not paying his workers would have meant that no one else in the town would work for him.  To his surprise, Archie enjoyed the work, had no trouble getting up in the morning and, within weeks, had been given the keys to the bakery and the responsibility of opening up the premises and preparing the first batch of loaves each day. He also handled most of the takings so was in a good position to make sure he was paid.

 

Things might have continued on as they were but the health of the baker deteriorated and a long-forgotten daughter appeared one day, announcing that her father was retiring and the bakery was for sale.  The new owner had no room for a young upstart who thought he knew everything and was not good at doing what he was told so Archie found himself unemployed.

 

This was not a problem, of course.  Employers were crying out for workers and he could have any job he wanted.  But Archie had other ideas.  One morning, he caught the bus into the city and walked in to the first shipping office he came to.  When the office manager discovered      that Archie could bake bread, the small matter that he was underage was ignored and within    just a few minutes he had signed on to join a ship, the Laetitia, sailing the following morning        for Halifax in Novia Scotia.  Archie had just enough time to rush home to tell his parents the good news, pack a bag with his few possessions and hurry back to meet his new shipmates.

 

Archie lost count of the number of voyages he made across the dangerous passage between Britain and Canada.  He even made a couple of trips to Archangel in Russia. In later years, when the younger members of his family asked Archie to tell them stories of the war he          wouldn’t talk about the hardships of the voyages; the treacherous icy water, the frequent        icebergs and the ever-lurking U-boats.  Instead, he reminisced about landing in Nova Scotia and being amazed at the quantity and variety of food available there.  Coming from a Britain, suffering from severe food shortages, he saw an opportunity.  Spending all his accumulated money on hams and tinned food and fresh fruit, he knew that his family would be delighted to receive this unexpected gift and any left over would find a ready market.

 

Later, Archie would tell anyone who would listen that he had had a ‘good war’.  He came through unscathed and made some money which was more than most people could say.

 

Fast forward fifty years and Archie’s life has reached another crossroads.  His wife has died after a long illness, he has no children and no other close relatives.  He has retired from work with a reasonable pension but can’t imagine what he is going to do with the rest of his life. He shudders when he contemplates pottering in the garden, playing Bowls, or any of the other pursuits recommended for single men in their later years.  His mind goes back to 1940 and the decision he made then and he wonders why he shouldn’t try a similar strategy now.        

Dressing in his best, he takes the train into the city and walks into the first shipping office he comes to, just as he did then.

 

“I’m looking for a job” he announces and is politely told that he is too old to work in any of the roles that might be needed on a modern ship and that his knowledge might be a little out-of-date.  Not to be bullied, Archie, asked them where most of their profits are being made and, without waiting for answer, gave it himself.  “In cruising,” he stated.

 

Pressing his advantage, he asked, “And which age group provides most of your customers?”  Again, he answered himself.

“The over-60’s, and do you ever have single women, over 60, travelling alone?” 

“Of course you do, and yet, you only provide twenty-something-year-olds to look after them.”

 

My proposition is that you need a well-dressed, uniformed, mature crew member whose job is to charm the single ladies, have coffee with them, chat with them at the Art Auction and encourage them to spend money.  If they have a memorable cruise, I’m sure they will re-book for another voyage.  Give me a six-month trial and I can guarantee that I will repay your investment ten-fold.”

 

Archie now spends ten months of the year cruising.  Each day, he wanders around the ship in his immaculate white uniform, chatting and having coffee with the older female passengers.  In the evenings, he dresses in his magnificent dress uniform and attends the dances held in the ship’s ballroom.  He has always been a good dancer and uses that to his advantage, encouraging the single ladies to join him on the dancefloor.

 

 

Archie has lost count of the number of proposals he has received but he always gently refuses.  He’s wise enough to realise he wasn’t a particularly good husband and believes he has, at last, found his niche in life, although he struggles to find a word to describe his role.  Gigolo, perhaps!